I cannot really figure out the reason why, but I am having a strong urge to share this funny (well….not so funny at the time when it occurred….in fact, it positively got the wind out of my lungs ;-)) story which occurred long time ago. The characters of this story are very much real, the incident is not fictional, and it is completely true 😉 However, out of the fear of being taken to task by the friends who are involved, I have used fictitious names while narrating this incident J
Almost a decade back, I was studying in Law College and simultaneously interning at a boutique corporate law firm, which was boutique in every sense. Like all the interns, who ventures with high hopes in the law firm domain and then quickly does a crash landing, my life was as interesting as a life of intern could be; for crash landing was an everyday affair! I started off this particular day completely anticipating that this was going to be just another day in which I will be spending time reading and taking photo copies of voluminous documents. Little did I know that by the time it would be evening, my life would become an interesting chapter straight out of Sherlock Holmes stories! At around 4:00 p.m. on that day, I was in the middle of reading a boring case law. While I was desultorily turning the pages of the never ending case law, I got a call from an unknown person from unknown number. I answered the call half expecting that this call from a mysterious lady will take me on a roller coaster ride for the next ten days. This is the way the conversation went:
Myself: “Hello, whose this?”
Mysterious Lady: Ahh…is this the right time to speak? I want to ask you some very important questions and would like to know something very private and confidential.
Myself: What? Important questions? What sort of important questions would you like to ask me? Hang on! Who are you? Why are you sounding so scared?
Mysterious Lady: I am sorry I cannot reveal my name. But I will be immensely grateful if you could just give me information about this one particular person.
The statement from the mysterious lady jolted me back to reality. Millions of thoughts started running in my mind simultaneously. The first thought was about what kind of information on earth I possessed at this early stage in my law firm career that this lady was so desperate to seek. What the hell is happening? I must admit that a ting of fear was running down my spine but at the same time the womanly curiosity was pushing me to prod further. So this is the way the conversation went further.
Myself: Ahh…this is strange….i do not know how safe it is for me to speak to you. But I would still like to know what exactly you would like to know that I still do not know that I know about!
Mysterious Lady: Don’t worry. I am the one at the receiving end right now! I am in big trouble. I just want to know what you think about Rubin! What kind of person is Rubin?
Rubin! Millions of thoughts were playing football in my mind! What the hell! Rubin! So this is what it is all about. Hang on….jus to give you guys a brief background, Rubin was a very good friend of mine. We were in the same class and use to often hang around together. He was a typical happy go lucky guy who ate a lot and swore a lot! What harm could he possibly do to any one? I never imagine myself getting a mysterious call from a mysterious lady because of the happy go lucky hyper active Rubin. However, at the same time, I started thinking whether there was something about Rubin that I did not know about? Did he have a darker side? Was he into drugs? Did he fool around with a junior chick? My mind was racing widely in all possible directions. I decided to prod further.
Myself: Well….ah…yeah…I do know Rubin….but I am confused…why are you asking me about him? And what do you want to know? Firstly, please tell me who you are!
Mysterious Lady: Please….please…please….tell me everything that you know about him. Believe me, this is important. Please tell me what kind of person is he.
Myself: Well….he is a friend…and he is a nice person…if this helps or makes you feel better! I cannot tell you more until and unless you tell me who you are!
Mysterious Lady: Nice person? Is he a nice person?
Myself: So you would like to hear from me that he is not a nice person?
Mysterious Lady: Are you sure he is a nice person?
Myself: Are you sure you want to know things about RUBIN?
Mysterious Lady: Yes! Yes! But how can he be a nice person….you are being biased…or partial….may be because he is your friend…you have no idea what I am going through.
Myself: Why don’t you tell me what are you going through? Hang on…why don’t you tell me who you are? May be I might be able to help you with this! Did Rubin hurt you? Did Rubin hurt your daughter? Are you somebody’s mother from my college? Please al least tell me something.
Mysterious Lady: Well…..i am sorry…it is not safe for me to talk too much of phone…..ahhh…can you meet me? Please can you meet me…I will tell you everything once I meet you.
SHIT! Now a strong chill ran down my spine! How could I meet her? She was an absolute stranger! What on earth had Rubin done to this lady or to her daughter or to god knows whom! At the same time, curiosity was getting the better of me! I just wanted to get to the bottom of the matter! Weighing all the risk, I decided to meet her. This is the way the conversation went further.
Myself: Okay. Fine! But atleast tell me your name! How will I recognize you?
Mysterious Lady: Do not worry. I will wear a BLUE SAREE AND CARRY A PINK WATER BOTTLE!
Myself: BLUE SAREE! PINK WATER BOTTLE! FINE! But I would like to meet you at a public place.
Myself: How does Café Cola on linking road at Bandra West suit you?
Mysterious Lady: See you tomorrow at 5:00 p.m.
She said that and off went the line. My heart starting thudding violently! For some time I just couldn’t think clearly! I immediately called up Rubin and started talking to him in all seriousness.
I asked him, “Rubin…..please be honest with me….are you sure you are not on drugs?
Rubin: Drugs? What is wrong with you? Hell no!
Myself: Are you sure you are not fooling around with some new hot underaged chick?
Rubin: Why are you asking me these questions? What is wrong with you?
Myself: I should be asking you this? What is wrong with you! I get call from mysterious people who are trying to extract information about you because you have got your hands full in some god forsaken stuff which you aren’t telling me.
Rubin was taken aback. I narrated the entire conversation. He sounded like a deflated balloon at the end of the conversation when he was repeatedly swearing that he has done nothing wrong! I told him that in any event I would go and meet this lady as I wanted to know the truth. Rubin, being the good friend that he was, tried convincing me out of it by citing various scenarios of how it could turn ugly and unsafe. Realizing that I would not relent, he finally conceded on the condition that I would be accompanied by another friend PARIMAL. The game plan that we made was that Parimal would accompany me in the café. However, he would sit a couple of seats away from me on the next table. I was happy and satisfied with this plan. Believe me, the enthusiasm of Sherlock Holmes was running in my vein.
I had to share my excitement with someone. God gifted me the opportunity to play Sherlock homes. However, I have not been gifted with the virtue of discretion! Out of the blue, I called up my college Principle and narrated the whole incident to him. My college principle took it on a different tangent all together! He got all excited and took the focus off from RUBIN and bought it on himself! He said….”Esha, I think this is a work of some investigative journalist! They actually want information about me! Not RUBIN!” He further said…people are jealous of me and want to ruin my name in the press” I was flabbergasted. How on earth could he draw this link? They mysterious lady was repeatedly asked me about Rubin! Not even once did she mention my principle! I completely forgot the fact that my principle was gifted with the divine quality of linking any and all event of this world to him. I realized that calling the college principle was a big mistake and that my principle would ruin this big adventure. I cut the conversation short and hung up.
As per Rubin’s plan, I called up Parimal, the guy who would provide me with cover fire in case things would go out of hand! To give you a background, Parimal was a loud mouthed junior who participated in every national and international completion without reading a single judgment. He was an overconfident, careless, carefree young chap….to say the least! I failed to understand why Rubin selected him off all the people. I called up Parimal and planned out the finer details of my meeting tomorrow.
I couldn’t sleep that night as I just couldn’t wait the morning to happen. Little did I know that my role as Sherlock Holmes ended the moment I called Parimal! Next day, I called that lady during lunch just to confirm the schedule of our meeting. The lady refused to answer my calls! I was taken aback! Positively disappointed! What the hell! Why is she ruining it? As I called repeatedly, the mysterious lady answered the call and simply said…”I am sorry I cannot meet you” and then off went the line! I immediately called up Rubin and gave him the bad news! To my surprise, Rubin was relieved. I called Parimal and told him that the plan was off!! Parimal sounded disappointed! He told me that he was very excited and that he told his mother about this meeting! I hung up after chatting with Parimal for a while and went on with my routine work in the boutique law firm.
After a week days, I called up Parimal at his residential number as I wanted him to return the books that he had borrowed from me. Parimal’s grandma answered the call. She was a sweet old lady who started off with a typical grandmotherly conversation. She repeatedly insisted that I should come home and meet her. I said I will certainly do that! At the end of the conversation, she asked me “ACCHA BETA….DO YOU KNOW RUBIN?’ WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM? HOW DO YOU FIND HIM”.
These questions immediately ringed the bell! The same questions which the mysterious lady asked! I could kind of connect the dots. I hurriedly answered her questions and hung up! I immediately called up Rubin and informed him that the “MYSTERIOUS LADY” AND “PARIMAL’S GRANDMOTHER” are asking the same set of questions. There certainly was a connection between the “MYSTERIOUS LADY” and “PARIMAL’s GRANDMOTHER”
Rubin processed the information and hung up! He then called me after two days to sort the mystery about the Mysterious Women! This MYSTERIOUS WOMEN was no one else but PARIMAL’S MOTHER. Rubin told me that he went to Parimal’s house after having a conversation with me. He said that he went with some friends to get this straight. He introduced himself to Parimal’s mother and grandmother and asked them if they had any problem! Parimal’s mother finally blurted out the truth that she was the Mysterious Women! She wanted to have information about Rubin as Parimal asked her to sponsor and finance various college events under the pretext that Rubin had asked for it. She further blurted out that she had given 50,000 rupees to Parimal until date as Parimal said that it was necessary as per Rubin (who happened) to be a college committee secretary! She further said that she had a strong suspicion that Rubin was defrauding her innocent little son by repeatedly demanding money! Rubin cleared all her doubts by asking other friends to vouch for him! He further told her that instead of creating this mystery, she could have asked him directly in the first place!
WELL….RUBIN WAS RIGHT…BUT WHAT ABOUT MY DISAPPOINTMENT? MY ONLY CHANCE OF PLAYING DECTITIVE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE WENT OUT OF THE WINDOW! In the hindsight…it was indeed comical…Parimal was going to accompany me to meet his “Mysterious Mother” No wonder his mother refused to meet me when I called her the next day. The fool Parimal is also not gifted with the art of discretion. He had proudly told his mother that he would be accompanying me to meet a “MYSTERIOUS LADY IN BLUE SAREE WITH PINK BOTTLE” No wonder his mother backed out! She would have cursed me for revealing this to her son J
In the hindsight we laugh about this incident, nevertheless with regret that I could never get the chance to play Sherlock Holmes.
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